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What Brought Me to Al-Anon

While attending a family meeting at a Rehab Hospital where my thirty year old daughter recovered from her methamphetamine addiction I totally fell apart, lost control, all my fears and anger took over and I totally interrupted the entire meeting.  Afterwards I was told by the family meeting leader to get myself to an Al-Anon meeting a.s.a.p.  A kind person took my hand and told me about a meeting in my town and offered to come with me.

I went the following Tuesday.  I was a mess, and not at all prepared to hear that I had a problem and that I needed to work on myself.  How dare they tell me, to keep the focus on myself!  My daughter needed fixing, not me! 
Keep coming back!  Never! I thought to myself. However, I kept on going every Tuesday night. I heard more and more similar stories.  Members shared their experiences, strengths and hopes and I started listening.

The three “C’s” had a big impact on me.  I didn’t cause it, I cannot control it, and I certainly cannot cure it.  My biggest problem with the first step was that I couldn’t accept that drug addiction/alcoholism is a disease.  My belief was that my daughter had a choice to say “no” to her first hit of methamphetamine whereas I didn’t have a choice when I was struck with breast cancer.  I quit cigarettes cold turkey years ago, why can’t she do the same? 
I am a grateful member of the Al-Anon program for 12 years now.  It took me a long time to get a sponsor. When I finally did and started working the steps, traditions and concepts it all fell together.  I know now that I will be in recovery for my Co-Dependency for the rest of my life.  I will stay in Al-Anon until the end.

I now make the program a priority.  I schedule other activities around my meetings. I attend four to five meetings a week.  I meditate a lot, I read the Al-Anon readers daily, I do service work, I share at meetings and yes I have spoken several times at different meetings, I also have four sponsees.  When I got busy I got better.  The three “A’s” had the biggest impact on my recovery.  I use them on a daily basis when I meditate on the first three steps.  Awareness, Acceptance and Action (meaning: Letting Go and Let God/Surrender).  Awareness/Acceptance that I was powerless over drugs/alcohol, other people, places and things.  Awareness and accepting this strengthened my faith and I came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. My faith in my Higher Power gave me enough strength and trust to finally be able to surrender.  I first had to become more patient and humble and then I made a decision to turn my will and my live over to the care of God as I understood Him.
Wow, what a wonderful, relaxing feeling.  Every time I do this exercise I feel renewed, serene and peaceful one day at a time.



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